When life gets to hard to stand.... kneel

I, like most parents i believe, get upset with my kiddos every now and then. when jamison throws a huge fit in the middle of a store over a toy or sucker and me saying NO and him screaming at the tops of his lungs. Or Bauer getting frustrated about the baby gate being up and throwing himself all over the floor till he bleeds. there are moments and days were i get so frustrated i go to my room and scream in my pillow or make a joke about leaving jamison in the store for some one to take him home with them for a while. Since August 31st i have changed my tune, i have tried to kiss my kids more love them harder hug them more and spend every waking moment i can with them. A very dear friend of mine that i have known since high school if not before high school! we went to girls camp together. she actually introduced me to my first real boyfriend, which didnt work out but i dont even know if she rememebers that, but anyways. my good friend Kacie Armitage had to do the hardest thing in the entire earth besides saying good bye to a spouse she had to kiss her baby who was 4 months new goodbye and send her to her heavenly father. Zoe recieved her angel wings after being born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome and artial septal defect. I have followed her journey in this life through kacies blog and her facebook updates falling more and more in love with this litle girl and learning so much about faith and unconditonal love as well as refinding my heavenly father. Since her passing i cant help but be so blessed and thankful for my two little rugrats! i watch as kacie and her husband and sweet 3 yr old struggle with the loss of their daughter and sister. it is hard to be so far away from someone you care for and want to extend help to so badly! i have learned from this girl how fragile life is how eternal my family truely is and how i needed this family and this girl to renew and reground myself in the gospel. i am not perfect by any means and i have ventured far from where i should i make excuses for things and reason why i should or havent done this or that reasons to not do family prayer or scripture study or family home evening reasons that now seem so idiotic! this little girl and her family have helped to recenter myself where i need to be to constantly lean on my heavenly father and when things seem way to hard to stand anymore to kneel for help and guidence. i know that in no way does this make her passing any easier for them or anything but it is a way for me to thank them seriously! every time i kiss my boys more each day laugh at the little things and brush off the stress of spilled milk or toilet seats up or pee on the floor i think of zoe and of kacie and i smile and hug my boys harder and thank my lucky stars they are still here with me and that i can hug them daily! thank you Zoe Grace Armitage for centering me back where i need to be! you are truely loved and missed!

And then there are 3!

sorry been MIA yet again! things are so crazy busy around here! alot has happen since we last blogged. First off jamison had a awesome birthday and sometimes i seriously can not believe he is 3!!! After Jamison's birthday Josh's grandpa took a turn for the worst and passed away. it was so hard to see josh grieve the way he did, there is just nothing you can do to make it better. we headed up to the burg again for his funeral, it was a beautiful funeral full of great memories funny laughs and good family time! We came home and june flew by in a blink of an eye! July 4th came and we went back up the rexburg for the annual weenie roast out at grandma house! it is so fun to get the family all back together! so in the craziness of june i realized i didnt have a period, which since i have been breastfeeding Bauer they have been weird to begin with. i didnt think anything of it as we were preventing pregnancy. well at the end of june begining of july i thought i may as well pee on a stick just to be safe. i did and i went to bath the boys and forgot all about it. when i finished their bath i returned to the pee stick and there were two lines i was in SHOCK, the first thing that went through my mind was you have got to be kidding!!! i cried for 30 mins straight! i was so scared! i didnt want my kiddos this close they will be 19 months apart! then i told josh and he thought i was kidding the next mornign i took another test and it was positive before it finshed reading the pee across the test! so we went to the dr to find out exactly how far along i was. turns out we have a little gummy bear growing and due March 7th of next year. since finding out the shock has worn off and we are getting more excited! it isnt ideal but apparently this little one is meant to be here in our family. it took so long and so many times to get Bauer here he was a tough cookie! but this little one is so meant to be. we are getting more excited about the baby as the days go on. it is goign to be a little crazy around here was with a 4 yr old and 1 and a half year old and a newborn but i think we will be good, jamison is already a big help! and bauer will be a great big brother as well. we waited till i was clear of the first trimester before announcing to the world of our little surprise baby. but we announced it ina cute way i think! but that is all that is new at the moment Bauer turns one ont he 30th and i still cant believe my baby is one!!! i just had him! he is a hilarious little critter and funny as i will get out! he is the happiest baby! never mad or sad always giggling and a TALKER we will post birthday photos soon!!!

Long overdue update!!

So much has happened since i last updated lol it has been craxy in our house! so it is now May lol and the boys are growing like weeds! jamison just turned 3 years old! and i can not believe it! it is hard to believe that i am a mother of a 3 year old! he is the best kiddo though! he has been potty trained for months now and it is the BEST! he is so good and love to potty like a big boy! this boy is super smart too! like wicked smart! we were watching mickey mouse clubhouse and they were working on shapes and he knew what a octagon was before they show said what it was! i am so proud! lol he says the FUNNIEST things and is so polite! Bauer is alost 9 months and the time has flown by! he is the happiest baby! he LOVES his big brother whenever jamison comes into the room he gets so excited squealing and giggling! he is crawling up and storm and has been for a few weeks now that kid if he sees something he wants he is on a misson to get it! unluike jamison he loves his carseat! he falls asleep in it almost immediately! the boys together are so sweet! they were rolling the ball back and forth today and giggling and it is so cute to watch their relationship! they love each other so much and i cant wait for them to be able to play more together! we finally after 4 yrs of saying we should go went to bear world in rexburg and we had a BLAST!!! the boys had so much fun and because it waqs a monday we were the only ones there really!!! we got to feed the bears and it was just jamison and me and bauer! they were so spoiled!! sadly josh wasnt able to come with us as he had to be with his mom and grandma at the hospital taking care of grandpa who is extremely sick but on the mend For jamisons birthday we had a mickey mouse clubhouse party! i made a ballon arch and decorations to match! it was super windy so we have to set up in the garage which wasnt bad! we rented a bounce house and we had it all day so jamison had a blast playing in it by himself before the party! then all his friends came out to play with him and it was so fun to hear all the excitement! we had a blast eating hotdogs, hamburgers and cupcakes!!! my business is BOOMING i am so busy with it all the time that josh is making the entire basement my warehouse! it makes me feel so accomplished that we are so busy it is so fun i love it! it doesnt feel liek work at all and i have an amazing husband who helps me out with everything!!! everything in our life is going to great right now! we are so blessed and happy with our life! it is truely a blessing and treat to wake up every morning and be a stay at home mom with my boys! and i am so blessed to have my husband who works so hard to provide for my family! life is good and we are so truely happy! i will try to update again soon! .

A New Year

i cant believe it is already 2012 and january is already half over! i feel like time si flying by so fast!!!

Bauer is now 4 and a half months odl and he is so sticking cute! i love his giggles and screetches! i love all his big smiles and that he is shy! lol it is a change from jamison! Jamison is such a soical bug it s kind of fun to have a boy he is a bit shy and likes to hide in your neck when someone loves on him!!

Jamison is a blast it is hard to believe he is only 4 months away from being 3 yrs old! he says and does the funniest things and i love watching my two boys interact! Jamison can get bauer going like know one else can and you can tell how much jamison loves bauer and it is more then same the other way around!

Josh is still doing fed ex and i am so happy peak is over i miss seeing him in the holiday months but it is worth it! he loves what he does and every year when peak is over he spoils me! this time it was a new camera!!! i have never had a dlsr before and i am LOVING learning my new toy! i have already done a few friends pictures of their new babies and i keep getting more appt with friends! it is not going to become a profession but i am loving seeing the new babies and cuddling them! it is hard to see hwo tiny they are and think and try to remember how bauer and jamison were once that size!

since it is a new year we all make resolutions and mine this year is to be happy! i am a happy person but i have flaws in letting people get to me and allowing them to take over my mind with thewir negativity or their actions towards people or myself and my resolution is to be happy despite let them do whatever they so choose and to not let it affect me and my life. 2011 was a good year for us we welcomed the greatest addition to our family and are so blessed to have him but it was a hard year for me as well. it has beena stuggle for em not the let other affect my life and my emotions get the better of me. i ahve had alot of anger, sadness, and reseantment in my life and heart this past year and my resolution this year is to try and let everything go. let everything brush off me and not to allow others rudeness, self centeredness, and more affect me and my happiness. good luck to me!

other then that january has beena great month! we celebrated my 25th birthday i know i am young lol but i feel old! it is weird to sit and think about all that has changed in the last year from my birthday and try and think how much is going to change before my next birthday!@
we celebrated at tucanos as usual! it is the best place and we only go ton special occasions! we then came back to tooele and took the kids bowling! it was a blast! we had so much fun and jamison loved bowling he actual bowled so much better then we did i think the ramp helped him! lol

i guess we will se what february brings!!!

been way too long

It has been about 3 months plus since the last time we did a post sorry!

so it has been a whirlwind since Bauer entered our family! he is just as good of a baby as Jamison was! he has slept through at 4 weeks just like Jamison, he is the best eater too

September was fun we had family come and visit and it was so great to have josh's mom here to help with jamison and the transition to big brother and then my dad came to visit with carole and i love when my dad comes to stay i have a blast!!!!

October was super fun!!! we blessed Bauer and my dad traveled back again to not miss that special day! i had josh feed bauer right church to make sure he wasnt fussy during his blessing, but we forgot to burp him i guess in the hustle of it all and right before it was time to bless him he puked everywhere soaked his outfit and me!!! lol so as soon as he was blessed we did a quick outfit change. lol it was funny but sad at the same time! lol of course he did that in his blessing outfit!

Halloween i had so much fun making our family theme outfits! we were UP so Jamison was russle Bauer was Doug, I was Kevin and Josh was Mr. Frederickson! we had so much fun trunk or treating and walking main street this year Jamison understood was we were doing and loved to say trick or treat and get goodies!

Novem Flew by seriously we had thanksgiving up with Josh's family and it was funt o see everyone and the food of course was so good! i seriously cant blieve it is already december!
Christmas is just around the corner and i am not ready for it! lol i have many presents to get and things to do! on Wednesday Josh and i Celebrate our 4th anniversary i cant believe it has been 4 years already but at the same time it feels like we have been together much longer then that!

We celebrated early since it is mid week and December is super busy for Josh with Fed Ex! we went to olivegarden with the boys and had a good time our kids were so well behaved and then we went to temple square and walked around i love this time of the year!!!

Next up is Christmas we have my dad and carole coming here and i cant wait to see him again it has been only a month or two but it is too long! i wish we lived closer!!!

Now for some fun things about my boys!

Jamison
- is 2 and half now and wearing 4T clothes to 5T
-super tall!
- loves Elmo and trains
- talks up a storm
- loves his baby bauer and they can get going together it is so cute!
- now taking tumbling classes and LOVES them!!!

Bauer
- 3 and a half months old
-smiles like crazy and is such a happy baby
-sleeps so well!
- just hit 12 lbs lol he is our little guy
- eating rice cereal now and LOVES it! he gets so excited to eat it!
- loves his mommy he is my mommy's boy!
-laughs and giggles and coos all the time!


i will post more often lol but that is all i can think of right now!

HE IS HERE!!! FINALLY!

we are so happy to introduce our little bundle of joy!

Bauer Jay Thornock
born August 30th at 4:10pm
6lbs 15 oz
19 1/2 inches long

so it has been a long time since i posted last so here is a summary of what happened. lol at 37 weeks we started doing non stress tests on Bauer each week my blood pressure had started to rise so we wanted to make sure he was ok. Every week he was fine! i was SLOWLY progressing finally at 39 weeks my dr was able to strip my membranes and in doing so he found out that Bauer had his hand up along the side of his head therefore stopping him from engaging further into my pelvis and stopping pretty much any dialation that could have accurred.
he restripped my membranes later that week to see if that would have helped and it didnt do anything, and bauer still had his hand up by his head.
i was so sad and discouraged and we began to talk about possiblilities of things we could do when in labor to try and move it.
we hit 40 weeks and i cried! i never thought i would go OVER my due date and i thought for sure this kid would NEVER come out! lol
we had a drs appt on monday the 29th and my blood pressure had gone way way up, my dr checked for any progress and i was effacing but not dialating anymore but because his hand was still there and my blood pressure was high he decided to induce me!
we went to the hospital at 9 pm that night to soften my cervix, the meds they gave me puts 30% of women into labor and luckily enough i was int hat group i was having contractions every 3 mins apart. in the morning about 6:30 am i got my epidural so that i wouldnt have to do pit without it since the dr had a c sectiont o do at 7:30

once the pit and epidural were in we went pretty fast, i started pit at 8 in the morning and my dr broke my water then. when he broke the water Bauer finally moved his hand!!! thanks heavens so we didnt have to have a c section.
it took a while for the dialation to start since he was still high. once we hit a 4 we FLEW! i went for a 4 to ready to push in an hour and 15 minutes!

we pushed for 30 mins and he was here! when he came out it was amazing, he looked just like jamison! it was like deja vu! i guess he was going to HUGE but when they weighed him josh and i were shocked!!
i mean jamison was 6 lbs 9oz and was 4 weeks early and this little guy was 5 days OVER due and was only 6lbs 15 oz! lol

He was perfect! it was amazing to not have a baby that has to go to the NICU! Josh's mom and Jamison were int he hall when he was born and when they were checking him out jamison was able to come in and i cried when they met it was so amazing to see our boys together at last!

i couldnt have asked for a better birth experience this time around! he came out tryign to eat the air! he was so ready to breastfeed! and with jamison i wasnt able to so it is amazing to be able to do it with Bauer.

since we have been home things are great! Jamison loves his little brother! he calls him "B" lol it is super cute! he loves to hug hima nd give him kisses and Bauer is just as good of a baby as jamison. he was fussy the first couple days because he was hungry and i couldnt give him anything lol cuz my milk hadnt come in yet. but once it did he is a changed baby he sleeps so well and is super cute to snuggle with!

we are so happy that everything went to so well this time around! and we have a gorgeous little boy again to play with! we are super blessed! life will never be the same with our boys here! =) but i couldnt be happier about it!

FULL TERM!!!!

finally we have made it to being full term! i cant begin to tell you how excited i am that we are 37 weeks and full term! it takes some of the worries away but like i told josh i will worry about this baby till he is in my arms! lol

we went to the drs appt on monday and it went well! the baby is going perfect! measuring perfect and has a healthy heartbeat.

we have been having blood pressure problems again this time around at least they are later in the pregnancy! my blood pressure was ont he high end of normal at my drs appt so we now are going to my dr on mondays and then doing non stress tests on thursdays.

they want to do the non stress tests ont he baby because before there is a real jump in your blood pressure to where you need ot take action the baby is already under stress so any sign of stress they will induce me! so we will see how it goes! the nice thing is a get to have a ultrasound weekly and get to see this little one!!!

also my dr said he will induce me on the 18th so at the most we will be pregnant 2 more weeks! so excited to see him!!! i cant wait till he gets here!

also i lost a pound at this appt i dont know how i did that but i am not complaining!

in other news yesterday was josh's bday and we had chicken enchiladas and cake! it was so nice to spend the time together as a family and it really is the last celebrationwe wil have before we are a family of 4!

i will be posting more later after we have our non stress test tomorrow! wish us luck!